AlleyCat
2021-09-18 05:26:00 UTC
On Fri, 17 Sep 2021 21:01:22 -0700, Rudy Canoza says...
=====
"I think one man is just as good as another so long as he's not a nigger or a
Chinaman. Uncle Will says that the Lord made a White man from dust, a nigger
from mud, then He threw up what was left and it came down a Chinaman. He does
hate Chinese and Japs. So do I. It is race prejudice, I guess. But I am
strongly of the opinion Negroes ought to be in Africa, Yellow men in Asia and
White men in Europe and America." - -Harry Truman
Mahatma Gandhi "ran a gas station down in Saint Louis." - Senator Hillary
Clinton
Some junior high nigger kicked Steve's ass while he was trying to help his
brothers out; junior high or sophomore in high school. Whatever it was, Steve
had the nigger down. However it was, it was Steve's fault. He had the nigger
down, he let him up. The nigger blindsided him." -- Roger Clinton, the
President's brother on audiotape
"You'd find these potentates from down in Africa, you know, rather than eating
each other, they'd just come up and get a good square meal in Geneva." -- Fritz
Hollings (D, S.C.)
"Is you their black-haired answer-mammy who be smart? Does they like how you
shine their shoes, Condoleezza? Or the way you wash and park the whitey's
cars?" -- Left-wing radio host Neil Rogers
Blacks and Hispanics are "too busy eating watermelons and tacos" to learn how
to read and write." -- Mike Wallace, CBS News. Source: Newsmax
"In the days of slavery, there were those slaves who lived on the plantation
and [there] were those slaves that lived in the house. You got the privilege of
living in the house if you served the master ... exactly the way the master
intended to have you serve him. Colin Powell's committed to come into the house
of the master. When Colin Powell dares to suggest something other than what the
master wants to hear, he will be turned back out to pasture." -- Harry
Belafonte
"Republicans bring out Colin Powell and J.C. Watts because they have no
program, no policy. They have no love and no joy. They'd rather take pictures
with black children than feed them." -- Donna Brazile, Al Gore's Campaign
Manager for the 2000 election
On Clarence Thomas - "A handkerchief-head, chicken-and-biscuit-eating Uncle
Tom." -- Spike Lee
"He's married to a white woman. He wants to be white. He wants a colorless
society. He has no ethnic pride. He doesn't want to be black." -- California
State Senator Diane Watson's on Ward Connerly's interracial marriage
"Rather I should die a thousand times, and see Old Glory trampled in the dirt
never to rise again, than to see this beloved land of ours become degraded by
race mongrels, a throwback to the blackest specimen from the wilds." -- Former
Klansman and current US Senator Robert Byrd, a man who is referred to by many
Democrats as the "consceince of the Senate", in a letter written in 1944, after
he quit the KKK.
"I am a former kleagle of the Ku Klux Klan in Raleigh County and the adjoining
counties of the state .... The Klan is needed today as never before and I am
anxious to see its rebirth here in West Virginia .... It is necessary that the
order be promoted immediately and in every state of the Union. Will you please
inform me as to the possibilities of rebuilding the Klan in the Realm of W. Va
.... I hope that you will find it convenient to answer my letter in regards to
future possibilities." -- Former Klansman and current US Senator Robert Byrd, a
man who is referred to by many Democrats as the "conscience of the Senate", in
a letter written in 1946, after he quit the KKK.
"These laws [segregation] are still constitutional and I promise you that until
they are removed from the ordinance books of Birmingham and the statute books
of Alabama, they will be enforced in Birmingham to the utmost of my ability and
by all lawful means." -- Democrat Bull Connor (1957), Commissioner of Public
Safety for Birmingham, Alabama
"I'll have those niggers voting Democratic for the next 200 years."
-- Lyndon B. Johnson to two governors on Air Force One according Ronald
Kessler's Book, "Inside The White House"
(On New York) "Kiketown." -- Harry Truman in a personal letter
"There's some people who've gone over the state and said, 'Well, George Wallace
has talked too strong about segregation.' Now let me ask you this: how in the
name of common sense can you be too strong about it? You're either for it or
you're against it. There's not any middle ground as I know of." -- Democratic
Alabama Governor George Wallace (1959)
On Jews
"You fucking Jew bastard." -- Hillary Clinton to political operative Paul Fray.
This was revealed in "State of a Union: Inside the Complex Marriage of Bill and
Hillary Clinton" and has been verified by Paul Fray and three witnesses.
"The Jews don't like Farrakhan, so they call me Hitler. Well, that's a good
name. Hitler was a very great man. He rose Germany up from the ashes." -- Louis
Farrakhan (1984) who campaigned for congresswoman Cynthia McKinney in 2002
"Now that nation called Israel, never has had any peace in forty years and she
will never have any peace because there can never be any peace structured on
injustice, thievery, lying and deceit and using the name of God to shield your
dirty religion under his holy and righteous name." -- Louis Farrakhan who
campaigned for congresswoman Cynthia McKinney in 2002, 1984
'Hymies.' 'Hymietown.' -- Jesse Jackson's description of New York City while on
the 1984 presidential campaign trail.
"Jews - that's J-E-W-S." -- Democratic state representative Bill McKinney on
why his daughter Cynthia lost in 2002
On Whites
"I want to go up to the closest white person and say: 'You can't understand
this, it's a black thing' and then slap him, just for my mental health."
-- Charles Barron, a New York city councilman at a reparations rally, 2002
"Civil rights laws were not passed to protect the rights of white men and do
not apply to them." -- Mary Frances Berry, Chairwoman, US Commission on Civil
Rights
(I) "will not let the white boys win in this election." -- Donna Brazile, Al
Gore's Campaign Manager on the 2000 election
"The old white boys got taken fair and square." -- San Francisco Mayor Willie
Brown after winning an election
"There are white niggers. I've seen a lot of white niggers in my time." --
Former Klansman and Current US Senator Robert Byrd, a man who is referred to by
many Democrats as the "conscience of the Senate" in March of 2001
"The Medicaid system must have been developed by a white male slave owner. It
pays for you to be pregnant and have a baby, but it won't pay for much family
planning." -- Jocelyn Elders
The white man is our mortal enemy, and we cannot accept him. I will fight to
see that vicious beast go down into the lake of fire prepared for him from the
beginning, that he never rise again to give any innocent black man, woman or
child the hell that he has delighted in pouring on us for 400 years." -- Louis
Farrakhan who campaigned for congresswoman Cynthia McKinney in 2002, City
College audience in New York
"There's no great, white bigot; there's just about 200 million little white
bigots out there." -- USA Today columnist Julienne Malveaux
"We have lost to the white racist press and to the racist reactionary Jewish
misleaders." -- Former Rep. Gus Savage (D-Illinois) after his defeat 1992
"White folks was in caves while we was building empires... We taught philosophy
and astrology and mathematics before Socrates and them Greek homos ever got
around to it." -- Rev. Al Sharpton in a 1994 speech at Kean College, NJ, cited
in "Democrats Do the Dumbest Things
"The white race is the cancer of human history." -- Susan Sontag
"Reparations are a really good way for white people to admit they're wrong." --
Zack Webb, University Of Kentucky NAACP
=====
Psychologist Stephen Johnson writes that a narcissist is someone who has
"buried his true self-expression in response to EARLY INJURIES and replaced it
with a highly developed, compensatory FALSE SELF."
This alternate persona often comes across as grandiose, "above others," self-
absorbed, and highly conceited.
[giggle]
Gaslighting is a form of persistent manipulation and brainwashing that causes
the victim to doubt her or himself, and to ultimately lose one's own sense of
perception, identity, and self-worth. A gaslighter's statements and accusations
are often based on deliberate falsehoods and calculated marginalization. The
term gaslighting is derived from the 1944 film Gaslight, where a husband tries
to convince his wife that she's insane by causing her to question herself and
her reality.
Multiple studies and writings have been done on the impact of narcissism and
gaslighting on relationships(1)(2)(3)(4)(5)(6). While each of these often
destructive pathologies is unique, there are certain behavioral overlaps.
Following are six common traits, with references from my books: "How to
Successfully Handle Narcissists" and "How to Successfully Handle Gaslighters &
Stop Psychological Bullying". Not all narcissists and gaslighters possess every
characteristic identified below. However, chronic narcissists and gaslighters
are likely to exhibit at least several of the following on a regular basis.
1. Frequent Lies and Exaggerations
Both narcissists and gaslighters are prone to frequent lies and exaggerations
(about themselves and others), and have the tendency of lifting themselves up
by putting others down. While narcissists often strive to make themselves seem
superior and "special" by showing off, bragging, taking undeserved credit, and
other forms of self-aggrandizement, gaslighters tend to concentrate on making
you feel inferior through false accusations, constant criticism, and
psychological intimidation. Both narcissists and gaslighters can be adept at
distortion of facts, deliberate falsehoods, character assassinations, and
negative coercions. One key difference is that while the narcissist lies and
exaggerates to boost their fragile self-worth, the gaslighter does so to
augment their domination and control.
2. Rarely Admit Flaws and Are Highly Aggressive When Criticized
Many narcissists and gaslighters have thin skin and can react poorly when
called to account for their negative behavior. When challenged, the narcissist
is likely to either fight (e.g., temper tantrum, excuse-making, denial, blame,
hypersensitivity, etc.) or take flight (bolt out the door, avoidance, silent
treatment, sulking resentment, or other forms of passive-aggression). The
gaslighter nearly always resorts to escalation by doubling or tripling down on
their false accusations or coercions, to intimidate or oppress their opponent.
Many gaslighters view relationships as inherently competitive rather than
collaborative; a zero-sum game where one is either a winner or a loser, on top
or at the bottom. "Offense is the best defense" is a mantra for many
gaslighters, which also represents their aggressive method of relating to
people.
article continues after advertisement
3. False Image Projection
"My husband always wants people to see him as successful, powerful, and envy-
worthy, no matter how shaky his real life actually is." -Anonymous partner of
narcissist
Both narcissists and gaslighters tend to project false, idealized images of
themselves to the world, in order to hide their inner insecurities. Many
narcissists like to impress others by making themselves look good externally.
This "trophy complex" can exhibit itself physically, romantically, sexually,
socially, religiously, financially, materially, professionally, academically,
or culturally. The underlying message of this display is: "I'm better than
you!" or "Look at how special I am - I'm worthy of everyone's love, admiration,
and acceptance!"
Gaslighters, on the other hand, often create an idealized self-image of being
the dominant, suppressive alpha male or female in personal relationships, at
the workplace, or in high-profile positions of society (such as politics and
media). Many gaslighters like to view themselves falsely as all-powerful and
strong, capable of dishing out judgments and penalties at will. Pathological
gaslighters often take pride and boost themselves up by marginalizing those
whom they perceive as weaker, believing that the meek deserve their downtrodden
fate. They attack their victims with direct or subtle cruelty and contempt,
gaining sadistic pleasure from these offenses, and betraying a lack of empathy
and humanity.
In essence, narcissists want others to worship them, while gaslighters want
others to submit to them. In a big way, these external facades become pivotal
parts of their false identities, replacing the real and insecure self.
4. Rule Breaking and Boundary Violation
Many narcissists and gaslighters enjoy getting away with violating rules and
social norms. Examples of narcissistic trespass include cutting in line,
chronic under-tipping, personal space intrusion, borrowing items without
returning, using other's properties without asking, disobeying traffic laws,
breaking appointments, and negating promises. Examples of gaslighting trespass
include direct or subtle marginalizing remarks, public or private shaming and
humiliation, sardonic humor and sarcastic comments, internet trolling, angry
and hateful speech, and virulent attacks on undesirable individuals and groups.
article continues after advertisement
Both narcissist and gaslighter boundary violations presume entitlement, with a
narrow, egocentric orientation that oppresses and de-humanizes their victims.
In severe cases, this boundary violation pathology may result in illicit and
underhanded dealings, financial abuse, sexual harassment, date rape, domestic
abuse, hate crimes, human rights violations, and other forms of criminality.
Many narcissists and gaslighters take pride in their destructive behaviors, as
their machinations provide them with a hollow (and desperate) sense of
superiority and privilege.
5. Emotional Invalidation and Coercion
Although narcissists and gaslighters can be (but are not always) physically
abusive, for the majority of their victims, emotional suffering is where the
damage is most painfully felt. Both narcissists and gaslighters enjoy spreading
and arousing negative emotions in order to feel powerful, and keep you insecure
and off-balance. They habitually invalidate others' thoughts, feelings, and
priorities, showing little remorse for causing people in their lives pain. They
often blame their victims for having caused their own victimization ("You
wouldn't get yelled at if you weren't so stupid!").
In addition, many narcissists and gaslighters have unpredictable mood swings
and are prone to emotional drama - you never know what might displease them and
set them off. They become upset at any signs of independence and self-
affirmation ("Who do you think you are!?"). They turn agitated if you disagree
with their views or fail to meet their expectations. As mentioned earlier, they
are sensitive to criticism, but quick to judge others. By keeping you down and
making you feel inferior, they boost their fragile ego, and feel more reassured
about themselves.
6. Manipulation: The Use or Control of Others as an Extension of Oneself
Both narcissists and gaslighters have a tendency to make decisions for others
to suit their own agenda. Narcissists may use their romantic partner, child,
family, friend, or colleague to meet unreasonable self-serving needs, fulfill
unrealized dreams, or cover-up weaknesses and shortcomings. Narcissists are
also fond of using guilt, blame, and victim-hood as manipulative devices.
article continues after advertisement
Gaslighters conduct psychological manipulation toward individuals and groups
through persistent distortion of the truth, with the intention of causing their
victims to question themselves and feel less confident. In personal and/or
professional environments, they manipulate by micromanaging (controlling)
relationships, including telling others how they should think, feel, and behave
under the gaslighter's unreasonable restrictions and scrutiny. They often
become critical, angry, intimidating, and/or hostile toward those who fail to
bow down to their directives. Gaslighter manipulation is often highly
aggressive, with punitive measures (tangible or psychological) executed toward
those who fail to recognize and obey their self-perceived authority.
Perhaps the biggest distinction between narcissists and gaslighters is that
narcissists use and exploit, and gaslighters dominate and control. While the
narcissist does so to compensate for a desperate sense of deficiency (of being
unloved as the real self), the gaslighter does so to hide their ever-present
insecurity (of being powerless and losing control). Both of these pathological
types betray an inability and/or unwillingness to relate to people genuinely
and equitably as human beings. They become "special" and "superior" by being
less human and by de-humanizing others.
In the worst-case scenario, some individuals possess traits of both narcissism
and gaslighting. This is a highly toxic and destructive combination of vanity,
manipulation, bullying, and abuse - all unleashed in order to compensate for
the perpetrator's deep-seated sense of inadequacy and fear.
Systemic racism is real. It is kept alive by overtly racist shitbags like
liberals and Democrats
So true.liberals and Democrats
=====
"I think one man is just as good as another so long as he's not a nigger or a
Chinaman. Uncle Will says that the Lord made a White man from dust, a nigger
from mud, then He threw up what was left and it came down a Chinaman. He does
hate Chinese and Japs. So do I. It is race prejudice, I guess. But I am
strongly of the opinion Negroes ought to be in Africa, Yellow men in Asia and
White men in Europe and America." - -Harry Truman
Mahatma Gandhi "ran a gas station down in Saint Louis." - Senator Hillary
Clinton
Some junior high nigger kicked Steve's ass while he was trying to help his
brothers out; junior high or sophomore in high school. Whatever it was, Steve
had the nigger down. However it was, it was Steve's fault. He had the nigger
down, he let him up. The nigger blindsided him." -- Roger Clinton, the
President's brother on audiotape
"You'd find these potentates from down in Africa, you know, rather than eating
each other, they'd just come up and get a good square meal in Geneva." -- Fritz
Hollings (D, S.C.)
"Is you their black-haired answer-mammy who be smart? Does they like how you
shine their shoes, Condoleezza? Or the way you wash and park the whitey's
cars?" -- Left-wing radio host Neil Rogers
Blacks and Hispanics are "too busy eating watermelons and tacos" to learn how
to read and write." -- Mike Wallace, CBS News. Source: Newsmax
"In the days of slavery, there were those slaves who lived on the plantation
and [there] were those slaves that lived in the house. You got the privilege of
living in the house if you served the master ... exactly the way the master
intended to have you serve him. Colin Powell's committed to come into the house
of the master. When Colin Powell dares to suggest something other than what the
master wants to hear, he will be turned back out to pasture." -- Harry
Belafonte
"Republicans bring out Colin Powell and J.C. Watts because they have no
program, no policy. They have no love and no joy. They'd rather take pictures
with black children than feed them." -- Donna Brazile, Al Gore's Campaign
Manager for the 2000 election
On Clarence Thomas - "A handkerchief-head, chicken-and-biscuit-eating Uncle
Tom." -- Spike Lee
"He's married to a white woman. He wants to be white. He wants a colorless
society. He has no ethnic pride. He doesn't want to be black." -- California
State Senator Diane Watson's on Ward Connerly's interracial marriage
"Rather I should die a thousand times, and see Old Glory trampled in the dirt
never to rise again, than to see this beloved land of ours become degraded by
race mongrels, a throwback to the blackest specimen from the wilds." -- Former
Klansman and current US Senator Robert Byrd, a man who is referred to by many
Democrats as the "consceince of the Senate", in a letter written in 1944, after
he quit the KKK.
"I am a former kleagle of the Ku Klux Klan in Raleigh County and the adjoining
counties of the state .... The Klan is needed today as never before and I am
anxious to see its rebirth here in West Virginia .... It is necessary that the
order be promoted immediately and in every state of the Union. Will you please
inform me as to the possibilities of rebuilding the Klan in the Realm of W. Va
.... I hope that you will find it convenient to answer my letter in regards to
future possibilities." -- Former Klansman and current US Senator Robert Byrd, a
man who is referred to by many Democrats as the "conscience of the Senate", in
a letter written in 1946, after he quit the KKK.
"These laws [segregation] are still constitutional and I promise you that until
they are removed from the ordinance books of Birmingham and the statute books
of Alabama, they will be enforced in Birmingham to the utmost of my ability and
by all lawful means." -- Democrat Bull Connor (1957), Commissioner of Public
Safety for Birmingham, Alabama
"I'll have those niggers voting Democratic for the next 200 years."
-- Lyndon B. Johnson to two governors on Air Force One according Ronald
Kessler's Book, "Inside The White House"
(On New York) "Kiketown." -- Harry Truman in a personal letter
"There's some people who've gone over the state and said, 'Well, George Wallace
has talked too strong about segregation.' Now let me ask you this: how in the
name of common sense can you be too strong about it? You're either for it or
you're against it. There's not any middle ground as I know of." -- Democratic
Alabama Governor George Wallace (1959)
On Jews
"You fucking Jew bastard." -- Hillary Clinton to political operative Paul Fray.
This was revealed in "State of a Union: Inside the Complex Marriage of Bill and
Hillary Clinton" and has been verified by Paul Fray and three witnesses.
"The Jews don't like Farrakhan, so they call me Hitler. Well, that's a good
name. Hitler was a very great man. He rose Germany up from the ashes." -- Louis
Farrakhan (1984) who campaigned for congresswoman Cynthia McKinney in 2002
"Now that nation called Israel, never has had any peace in forty years and she
will never have any peace because there can never be any peace structured on
injustice, thievery, lying and deceit and using the name of God to shield your
dirty religion under his holy and righteous name." -- Louis Farrakhan who
campaigned for congresswoman Cynthia McKinney in 2002, 1984
'Hymies.' 'Hymietown.' -- Jesse Jackson's description of New York City while on
the 1984 presidential campaign trail.
"Jews - that's J-E-W-S." -- Democratic state representative Bill McKinney on
why his daughter Cynthia lost in 2002
On Whites
"I want to go up to the closest white person and say: 'You can't understand
this, it's a black thing' and then slap him, just for my mental health."
-- Charles Barron, a New York city councilman at a reparations rally, 2002
"Civil rights laws were not passed to protect the rights of white men and do
not apply to them." -- Mary Frances Berry, Chairwoman, US Commission on Civil
Rights
(I) "will not let the white boys win in this election." -- Donna Brazile, Al
Gore's Campaign Manager on the 2000 election
"The old white boys got taken fair and square." -- San Francisco Mayor Willie
Brown after winning an election
"There are white niggers. I've seen a lot of white niggers in my time." --
Former Klansman and Current US Senator Robert Byrd, a man who is referred to by
many Democrats as the "conscience of the Senate" in March of 2001
"The Medicaid system must have been developed by a white male slave owner. It
pays for you to be pregnant and have a baby, but it won't pay for much family
planning." -- Jocelyn Elders
The white man is our mortal enemy, and we cannot accept him. I will fight to
see that vicious beast go down into the lake of fire prepared for him from the
beginning, that he never rise again to give any innocent black man, woman or
child the hell that he has delighted in pouring on us for 400 years." -- Louis
Farrakhan who campaigned for congresswoman Cynthia McKinney in 2002, City
College audience in New York
"There's no great, white bigot; there's just about 200 million little white
bigots out there." -- USA Today columnist Julienne Malveaux
"We have lost to the white racist press and to the racist reactionary Jewish
misleaders." -- Former Rep. Gus Savage (D-Illinois) after his defeat 1992
"White folks was in caves while we was building empires... We taught philosophy
and astrology and mathematics before Socrates and them Greek homos ever got
around to it." -- Rev. Al Sharpton in a 1994 speech at Kean College, NJ, cited
in "Democrats Do the Dumbest Things
"The white race is the cancer of human history." -- Susan Sontag
"Reparations are a really good way for white people to admit they're wrong." --
Zack Webb, University Of Kentucky NAACP
=====
Psychologist Stephen Johnson writes that a narcissist is someone who has
"buried his true self-expression in response to EARLY INJURIES and replaced it
with a highly developed, compensatory FALSE SELF."
This alternate persona often comes across as grandiose, "above others," self-
absorbed, and highly conceited.
[giggle]
Gaslighting is a form of persistent manipulation and brainwashing that causes
the victim to doubt her or himself, and to ultimately lose one's own sense of
perception, identity, and self-worth. A gaslighter's statements and accusations
are often based on deliberate falsehoods and calculated marginalization. The
term gaslighting is derived from the 1944 film Gaslight, where a husband tries
to convince his wife that she's insane by causing her to question herself and
her reality.
Multiple studies and writings have been done on the impact of narcissism and
gaslighting on relationships(1)(2)(3)(4)(5)(6). While each of these often
destructive pathologies is unique, there are certain behavioral overlaps.
Following are six common traits, with references from my books: "How to
Successfully Handle Narcissists" and "How to Successfully Handle Gaslighters &
Stop Psychological Bullying". Not all narcissists and gaslighters possess every
characteristic identified below. However, chronic narcissists and gaslighters
are likely to exhibit at least several of the following on a regular basis.
1. Frequent Lies and Exaggerations
Both narcissists and gaslighters are prone to frequent lies and exaggerations
(about themselves and others), and have the tendency of lifting themselves up
by putting others down. While narcissists often strive to make themselves seem
superior and "special" by showing off, bragging, taking undeserved credit, and
other forms of self-aggrandizement, gaslighters tend to concentrate on making
you feel inferior through false accusations, constant criticism, and
psychological intimidation. Both narcissists and gaslighters can be adept at
distortion of facts, deliberate falsehoods, character assassinations, and
negative coercions. One key difference is that while the narcissist lies and
exaggerates to boost their fragile self-worth, the gaslighter does so to
augment their domination and control.
2. Rarely Admit Flaws and Are Highly Aggressive When Criticized
Many narcissists and gaslighters have thin skin and can react poorly when
called to account for their negative behavior. When challenged, the narcissist
is likely to either fight (e.g., temper tantrum, excuse-making, denial, blame,
hypersensitivity, etc.) or take flight (bolt out the door, avoidance, silent
treatment, sulking resentment, or other forms of passive-aggression). The
gaslighter nearly always resorts to escalation by doubling or tripling down on
their false accusations or coercions, to intimidate or oppress their opponent.
Many gaslighters view relationships as inherently competitive rather than
collaborative; a zero-sum game where one is either a winner or a loser, on top
or at the bottom. "Offense is the best defense" is a mantra for many
gaslighters, which also represents their aggressive method of relating to
people.
article continues after advertisement
3. False Image Projection
"My husband always wants people to see him as successful, powerful, and envy-
worthy, no matter how shaky his real life actually is." -Anonymous partner of
narcissist
Both narcissists and gaslighters tend to project false, idealized images of
themselves to the world, in order to hide their inner insecurities. Many
narcissists like to impress others by making themselves look good externally.
This "trophy complex" can exhibit itself physically, romantically, sexually,
socially, religiously, financially, materially, professionally, academically,
or culturally. The underlying message of this display is: "I'm better than
you!" or "Look at how special I am - I'm worthy of everyone's love, admiration,
and acceptance!"
Gaslighters, on the other hand, often create an idealized self-image of being
the dominant, suppressive alpha male or female in personal relationships, at
the workplace, or in high-profile positions of society (such as politics and
media). Many gaslighters like to view themselves falsely as all-powerful and
strong, capable of dishing out judgments and penalties at will. Pathological
gaslighters often take pride and boost themselves up by marginalizing those
whom they perceive as weaker, believing that the meek deserve their downtrodden
fate. They attack their victims with direct or subtle cruelty and contempt,
gaining sadistic pleasure from these offenses, and betraying a lack of empathy
and humanity.
In essence, narcissists want others to worship them, while gaslighters want
others to submit to them. In a big way, these external facades become pivotal
parts of their false identities, replacing the real and insecure self.
4. Rule Breaking and Boundary Violation
Many narcissists and gaslighters enjoy getting away with violating rules and
social norms. Examples of narcissistic trespass include cutting in line,
chronic under-tipping, personal space intrusion, borrowing items without
returning, using other's properties without asking, disobeying traffic laws,
breaking appointments, and negating promises. Examples of gaslighting trespass
include direct or subtle marginalizing remarks, public or private shaming and
humiliation, sardonic humor and sarcastic comments, internet trolling, angry
and hateful speech, and virulent attacks on undesirable individuals and groups.
article continues after advertisement
Both narcissist and gaslighter boundary violations presume entitlement, with a
narrow, egocentric orientation that oppresses and de-humanizes their victims.
In severe cases, this boundary violation pathology may result in illicit and
underhanded dealings, financial abuse, sexual harassment, date rape, domestic
abuse, hate crimes, human rights violations, and other forms of criminality.
Many narcissists and gaslighters take pride in their destructive behaviors, as
their machinations provide them with a hollow (and desperate) sense of
superiority and privilege.
5. Emotional Invalidation and Coercion
Although narcissists and gaslighters can be (but are not always) physically
abusive, for the majority of their victims, emotional suffering is where the
damage is most painfully felt. Both narcissists and gaslighters enjoy spreading
and arousing negative emotions in order to feel powerful, and keep you insecure
and off-balance. They habitually invalidate others' thoughts, feelings, and
priorities, showing little remorse for causing people in their lives pain. They
often blame their victims for having caused their own victimization ("You
wouldn't get yelled at if you weren't so stupid!").
In addition, many narcissists and gaslighters have unpredictable mood swings
and are prone to emotional drama - you never know what might displease them and
set them off. They become upset at any signs of independence and self-
affirmation ("Who do you think you are!?"). They turn agitated if you disagree
with their views or fail to meet their expectations. As mentioned earlier, they
are sensitive to criticism, but quick to judge others. By keeping you down and
making you feel inferior, they boost their fragile ego, and feel more reassured
about themselves.
6. Manipulation: The Use or Control of Others as an Extension of Oneself
Both narcissists and gaslighters have a tendency to make decisions for others
to suit their own agenda. Narcissists may use their romantic partner, child,
family, friend, or colleague to meet unreasonable self-serving needs, fulfill
unrealized dreams, or cover-up weaknesses and shortcomings. Narcissists are
also fond of using guilt, blame, and victim-hood as manipulative devices.
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Gaslighters conduct psychological manipulation toward individuals and groups
through persistent distortion of the truth, with the intention of causing their
victims to question themselves and feel less confident. In personal and/or
professional environments, they manipulate by micromanaging (controlling)
relationships, including telling others how they should think, feel, and behave
under the gaslighter's unreasonable restrictions and scrutiny. They often
become critical, angry, intimidating, and/or hostile toward those who fail to
bow down to their directives. Gaslighter manipulation is often highly
aggressive, with punitive measures (tangible or psychological) executed toward
those who fail to recognize and obey their self-perceived authority.
Perhaps the biggest distinction between narcissists and gaslighters is that
narcissists use and exploit, and gaslighters dominate and control. While the
narcissist does so to compensate for a desperate sense of deficiency (of being
unloved as the real self), the gaslighter does so to hide their ever-present
insecurity (of being powerless and losing control). Both of these pathological
types betray an inability and/or unwillingness to relate to people genuinely
and equitably as human beings. They become "special" and "superior" by being
less human and by de-humanizing others.
In the worst-case scenario, some individuals possess traits of both narcissism
and gaslighting. This is a highly toxic and destructive combination of vanity,
manipulation, bullying, and abuse - all unleashed in order to compensate for
the perpetrator's deep-seated sense of inadequacy and fear.